Katie: When Will I Become "a Professional"?

As a new teacher still working on my master’s degree and the youngest person on staff at my center, I find it difficult to consider myself *trumpets* “a professional.” I’ve yet to build all the confidence I need to feel like I know what I’m talking about when communicating with families, co-workers, and students. At least I know I have the children in my classroom beat, though they still can throw me for a loop with some of their questions and comments.

I feel confident that I know the children in my classroom well enough to give an accurate description of them to others. However, I still second-guess myself, wondering “did I just sound ridiculous?” or “I’m pretty sure that didn’t make sense.” Because the children in my classroom use Autism Scholarship funds to attend our out-of-their-district preschool, I have to tell other schools’ professional teams where these children are in their development. It’s hard to believe you sound like an educated person when you still are learning about special education, the IEP process, and the key terms used to describe a child’s behavior or ability level. This week alone I got off the phone several times thinking “oh, they think I’m an idiot.”

I try very hard to make sure my student teachers believe I know what I am talking about, and so far I think I’ve tricked them. However, there have been times when I don’t really know how to handle their questions or where to direct them, because I am still learning, too! (Not to mention, they are either the same age or older than me, which makes it difficult to feel like a supervisor/superior to them.)

As for parents, I’m afraid I will give them wrong advice or lead them in the wrong direction—that terrifies me! (And them too, I’m sure, if they are reading this.)

With co-workers, I’m constantly asking questions and sometimes find it difficult to share my ideas, fearing that I am wrong. And, to be honest, there have been times when I have spoken up, shared an idea or belief, and I felt shot down because I am, supposedly, wrong—typically due to my inexperience.

When is that magical moment in time when you say to yourself, “Wow! I DO know what I’m talking about! I am a *trumpets again* professional!”? How do you build confidence when you’re constantly afraid that you’re wrong or don’t yet know enough? When will I know that I do sound smart and knowledgeable? Is my faking it getting me by? I know it won’t forever.

I will say this: In the few short months that I’ve been in this leadership role (that still sounds weird to say), my confidence has gone up, if just a tiny little bit. I know that some people now look at me as more than a student or a young whippersnapper, and at least THEY have confidence in what I say and do.

So, as insanely difficult as it is, I need to remember it’s okay to say “I don’t know, I’ll get back to you on that” or to speak up and either be right (at which time I expect a choir to rejoice) or be wrong and simply take it as a learning experience.

Maybe I should have blogged about something else; now my secret is out. . . .

Comments

[Dan Burritt]

Katie ; as a retired Special Education Teacher with over 30 odd years of experienced I can relate. You have discovered by now or soon will that the state of mind of Professional is just that a state of mind. I see that your are still working towards a Master and taking classes as well as teaching. You posted a series of questions that indicate that your cognitive state is one of questioning. This is a positive state. Now to transfer that towards the class and relate specifics to the learning of your students. what is an individual's ability of learning to learn? where does the learning breakdown or perhaps exhibit fragility - The inPut (Reception) Stage - The Elaboration(Transformation) Stage - The OutPut(Communication) Stage? Is there evidence of focus or attending? Does a system of exploring a task or problem exist ? To what degree? Is there a need for precision? Is there a identification of a problem by the student? Need for or presence of defining the problem? A lack of interiorization? Egocentric behavior? Lack of visual transfer? These and other Cognitive Functions can lead your investigation of the cognitive state and prescription of mediated learning will lead you to a Professional state.
Explore ICELP.org Professor Feuerstein and Iri.org will ground you and educate you.
Best to you

[Kamiel DeToye]

Katie~

As you continue to teach and communicate with other staff members and families you will continue to grow as a professional. You say that you are still learning, and I am not sure that ever will stop. Everyday you will learn how to handle a new situation or you might think of ways you could have done something differently. It is your reflections and interactions everyday with others that will build your confidence. You are a professional and more people than you know already view you as one. Continue to be honest, sincere, confident, and a person who is willing to speak up and advocate because those are true traits of a professional.

[Miss N]

Katie, as in my previous comment, you are a professional *trumpets* because you can say "I don't know, let me get back to you." You are no longer a professional (especially in teaching) when you decide there is nothing new to learn. Most especially, in the field of Autism, everything is new. In our state there is no teaching license for Autism, so while there are a few "experts" everyone is still learning. Just as the qualifications for LD have now changed to not have to include a significant discrepancy, unfortunately, many "professionals" don't know it and I even heard an administrator tell a parent that their special needs child with profound dyslexia would be compared to her peers and must have a significant discrepancy before she can get special education. You are there dear, trumpets and all, because you know you still have more to learn. We all do!

[Murray Fleckner]

You should also remember that your position as an out-of-district school allows you to be honest, much more so than if you were employed by a district. And, quite frankly, there's a good chance the child is in this particular placement now because someone at the district wasn't honest with them previously.

Having lived in your area, I can tell you that most parents there are realists -- they're not asking for the moon or expecting you to perform modern miracles with their disabled children. What they want is partnership: Education professionals with whom they can engage in a long-term, trusting relationship. All too often, districts don't understand this because they see the child as a number on a spreadsheet to be manipulated, but never owned.

[Katie]

Thank you so much for all the advice from parents! I love to hear what the people affected most by what I (and other professionals :) like me) do. I always keep that at the forefront of my practice; parents are the most important team members when discussing what is best for their child. I have an IEP meeting tomorrow and I plan on being a voice for the family and the child by "educating" the school's team on what best practice is when developing goals... I'll write about this hot topic for next week :) Thank you again for all your comments.

P.S. Don't forget as parents to let teachers and professionals that are being honest and supportive and helping your child know that you appreciate them. We don't always know that you think we're doing a good job.

[www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=552252106]

As a parent and former teacher I can tell you that parents do appreciate the most honesty as this is more and more difficult to find. Good luck in your future and do not forget whom you advocate for.

[Katie]

Thanks Murray for that feedback. I really try to be honest with the parents I work with because I value it so much too. So, if being honest means that I must admit I don't know something or I was wrong about something, then so be it!

[John]

Amen Murray!

[Murray Fleckner]

Katie -- As a parent who has attended more IEP meetings than he'd like to remember, I can tell you the single best thing you can ever say, "I don't know, I'll get back to you on that." It's an honest answer, and honesty is one thing special-ed parents tend to respect more than anything. Believe you me, no parent is expecting you, particularly in your first job, to have all the answers. What they do expect, however, is honesty.