Jessica: The Other Side of the IEP Table

I hope I’m not late . . .
I hope I am dressed okay . . .
I hope I don’t say anything stupid . . .

This was me. Going to my first IEP. I was curious, hopeful, nervous.

First, introductions were made. Then, presentation of reports. I was very impressed with how in-depth the speech and language specialist’s and school psychologist’s reports were. I was probably thinking something like. Wow, they did a lot of tests . . . hey, that test has the word Hawaii in it . . . too bad we couldn’t have done the test in Hawaii. . . .

Sounds like I knew what I was doing, huh? In reality, I didn’t even know what “IEP” meant. I didn’t know about procedural safeguards or timelines, either. I only knew that everybody at the table was there to talk about my son.

See, a few months before that meeting, at my son’s three-year well-child visit, my pediatrician asked me about his speech. I said I could understand a little bit, but that strangers understood none. He said that sounded below developmentally appropriate. I asked him if he should refer me to a speech pathologist; he recommended I call my school district first. So I did.

I spoke with an admin, and she took my name and number and said someone would call me back. I got a call back, some meetings were scheduled, observations were made, and questions were asked to which I responded in the manner of “sometimes,” “always,” and “never.” At no time did I understand or realize that this process was an initial assessment for special education.

About a month and a half later, I got the phone call saying, “We’d like to talk.” I came in for this meeting totally fearful, worried, excited, not knowing exactly where this was going. I just wanted them to say he could have some speech help.

They offered to enroll him in SDC preschool to include 30 minutes a week with the speech pathologist. While I had no idea what “SDC” meant, I did comprehend the term “preschool.” And seeing as I was on waiting lists for two different preschools, neither of which accepted children who were not yet potty trained, and these people were now saying this preschool was free and that they would help with potty training, I thought, Score! Where do I sign?

So began my experience as a special ed parent. My daughter later qualified for the same program. I’ve since attended many IEP meetings—some more heated than others—as my children, my expectations, and my understanding of special education developed. I’d already attended ten IEPs and several parent support workshops before I ever pursued a job in the field.

Indeed, by the time I conducted my first IEP meeting as a representative of the school district, I didn’t quite feel the butterflies you’d expect of a newly minted special ed teacher (so aptly described by my fellow blogger Theresa). My sentiment was more along the lines of I wonder if this will feel . . . different.

That particular meeting was memorable for reasons I can’t disclose, and I’ve held many meetings since—again, some good, some not as good. No matter what kind of meeting I prepare for, though, I remind myself that I am about to talk to someone’s parents. They’re meeting with me with the hope that my school district can help their child. Even if we’re coming at this goal from different perspectives, it is still the same goal: to help a child. Which makes us . . . not so different.

Comments

[Alysha]

I think that is a great saying and something I will think of before I go into IEP meetings. It seems so easy to think of things for the teachers aspect and trying to get everything done for the meetings, but I sometime forget to think of it from the parents. I enjoyed hearing about the different things you were confused about because this makes me think of different ways I can word information that is said/given to parents.

[Henry]

Jessica,

Thanks for your post; it reminded me of the importance of keeping IEP meetings understandable. In my seven years as a special educator, I have met with many parents. Some of them did not use English as their first language. I hope all of them understood what was going on but it is believable that some may have been too shy to admit they didn't understand.

[Kathleen]

I am student teaching at the moment and I have sat in on many IEPs over the years including personal and family ones. Since I wanted to go into the field of special education, my family members wanted someone who somewhat knew what was going on to come with. I think that having been on both sides is a helpful skill to have. However, I think that at the moment it is scary. I will have to do a full meeting by myself in a year or so. During student teaching, I have to prep and run one by myself. I was worried did I get everything ready, do not say anything wrong, make sure you are clear, and am I ready for this? I have a little less than a year left and what if I screw up my first year. However, working with my cooperating teacher, she has put some of my worries to rest. Making a list things that need to be covered and sayings to use and not to use will be helpful for the future. Practice makes perfect (or at least better)!

[Carola]

Jessica, I appreciate your honesty! 2 of my 3 sons needed IEPs. I remember the same emotions you describe. I also remember telling myself that if I ever became a Spec. Ed professional sitting at an IEP meeting I will show more compassion to parents. I want to be a professional who cares and shows it. I look forward to my first IEP as a Sepc. Ed. teacher. Sounds like you are doing a great job!

[Jessica]

Thanks, everyone, for the comments.

Megan, I agree it's a bit of a mind bender wondering how a parent will react to news on a developmental delay. I think the important thing to focus on when presenting the information is to focus on both what you're doing right now to help the child and also what the long term benefits are of your services. One of my professors told me to always ask myself the question about any service, how will this help the child when they are 40?

Rachael, having some sort of a meeting agenda/list is a definite must. When I first started, I used a sample IEP agenda that I got from my county SELPA.

Thanks, Richard :) I agree that using the first names goes a long way. That's one thing I also do in my IEP goal writing.

Carissa, I think you're on the right track with the need to ensure the parents understand everything. If someone sat in on my IEPs, I'm sure they'd have room to criticize my causal conversation, but I find that speaking with candor is the easiest way to get information across in a comprehensible way to someone who doesn't work in the profession.

Janine, I'd love it if my parents asked more questions. I think that's a great approach to have towards setting the right atmosphere at an IEP.

[Janine Stanton]

The terms used in special education do have a lot of acronyms with them - and teachers need to realize that not everyone students what those acronyms mean (like IEP). Parents may understand that IEP stands for Individualized Education Program but may not know what that truly means. As I student teach right now I realize that even some of the general education teachers don't know some of the acronyms that we use. Therefore it is important to make sure that everyone understands the terms in order to understand the information that is being provided.
To help teachers understand that parents side of the IEP meetings, make sure the parent feels comfortable asking questions even if it seems like common sense. The more they feel comfortable, the more they will ask, and the more that they ask, the more they will understand.

[Carissa]

I am about to start student teaching, but I have had my fair share of observing IEP meetings. For one of my classes I sat in and observed one, and my niece also has an IEP. She is 2 and has qualified for speech and gross motor services. I have been on the observing side both sides, but I find myself getting nervous to be on the teacher side of them. Hopefully with student teaching i will become more comfortable with being an active part of IEPs. The other thing that I am concerned about with IEPs is making sure that the parents understand what is being said because this is so much information that they hear at once it can be overwhelming.

[Richard]

I loved your post! I have had a great success with my parents by relating to their students and showing mom and dad that I am there for our student. I also have found that terms are important. Instead of 'the student' or 'he/she' I use their name, and 'our student' etc. I bet it really helps to have been on the other side of the table too!

[Rachael]

I'm student teaching right now, so I kind of know how you felt. I'm always neverous and wondering what is going happen, how is this suppose to run, and when I have to do this am I going to do this right. My cooperating teacher already informed me that I have to run an IEP. Also, all the work that has to go into before the meeting. I'm just think when I'm a teacher am I going to remember all this. A new SPED teacher at the school I'm at found a list from a different district that list all the things that need to be covered during the meeting. He offered me one and it will come in handing in the future for sure.

[Megan Flock]

I am student teaching right now and I am always scared to do IEP meetings because I feel like they are looking at me as a kid or student still. Also, in initial evaluations you're telling the parents that there child is delayed in development and a teacher never really knows how a parent will react to this information. Some may be relieved that they know why their child is delayed and there's a way to help them or they may be upset because they do know. But I completely agree that a teacher needs to remember that they are talking to parents. And everyone wants to make sure the child is succeeding and achieving what they are ultimately capable of.