Jessica: From Hopeless to Hopeful

That feeling of being overwhelmed is a recurring theme with my fellow bloggers, and I am compelled to throw my hat in the ring.

Here’s the deal: No matter what I do, I wish I could do more.

I work with my students, both individuals and small groups, all day long in varying push-in and pull-out sessions of 30 to 80 minutes. I hope I’m helping them, yet I always have that feeling in the pit of my stomach when the words “OK! I’ll see you tomorrow!” escape my lips. It’s that feeling that tells me, Gosh, I wish I had more time with them.

Just imagine if they had that extra half-hour, hour, half-day, whatever. Come to think of it, most of the general ed kids would benefit from some one-on-one attention, too. Gee, I also wish they were eating right and exercising. Hmm, if only they lived in a safer and more supportive home environment. I mean, maybe if so-and-so had his own bed and such-and-such wasn’t always babysitting her younger siblings, they’d be doing better in school.

I also wish the school could afford more teachers, better athletic and arts facilities, a more fuel-efficient bus, and a language program that could serve the community’s parents. Hmm, for that matter, I wish the community offered more resources.

Who am I kidding, though? We’re a mess! California’s a mess, the whole country’s a mess! In fact, why do I even bother doing anything? I can’t even complete my to-do list. How dare I expect my students to do anything when I am monumentally ineffective! Even if I did succeed in helping a couple kids learn something, would it make a difference? I’m sending them off into a great, big mess!

Two minutes—that’s how long it takes my train of thought to go from a realm of feeling able to actually effect change to a realm so completely out of my reach that I recoil in despair and tell myself that everything I do is worthless.

Thank goodness for Stephen Covey, who wrote The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. This is a fantastic book—at least that’s what I’ve heard (it’s still on my to-do list). My husband shared this tidbit with me after he read the book: the circles of concern and influence.

The circle of concern is large and full of everything in the world that concerns you. The circle of influence is smaller than the circle of concern. It fits inside the circle of concern and contains only the things that exist in your circle of concern that you can actually influence. People who wallow around in the circle of concern feel helpless because there’s nothing they can do.

Effective people, on the other hand, stick to the circle of influence. They focus on what they can do. The bonus is that the more people focus on what they can do and then actually do it, the larger their circle of influence becomes, further reaching into their circle of concern. In life you will always have both circles, of course, but what you do will determine the size ratio.

So whenever my mental train rounds the bend into the Land of Despair, I remind myself that it’s not that I must do everything; it’s that I must do something. I repeat this mantra until I believe it again, and then I return to my lesson-planning, my parent-calling, and my simple act of being there for my students.

Next stop: Circle of Influence. I can already feel it getting bigger.

Comments

[Alysha]

I feel that I do the same thing as you when it comes to our thinking process. I haven't heard about that book, but I am putting it on my TO DO LIST, as if it isn't long enough, but I will hopefully get a chance to read it over my winter break. I don't think that anything you do in the aspect of teaching in worthless, so you need to think of the accomplishments you did during the day and focus on the thinking you will be able to do the rest of the week.

[Ashley]

I completely forgot about that book until you mentioned it in your blog! I have also heard that it is a phenomenal book and I too hope to read it soon. I agree with what everyone has been saying, especially the fact that your heart is in the right place. You are a very kind and thoughtful person that wants to change your students' lives for the better. Teachers like you have that ability, and it is definitely about the influential bubble instead of the dwelling bubble. We can change the world one day at a time, not all in one day!

I am student teaching and one of my biggest setbacks, for myself, is bringing my work home and worrying about all of my students. I need to stay out of my dwelling bubble because that doesn't help anyone. I will be losing sleep which inevitably makes me crabbier and less effective and more strung out. I can only worry about the 'now' and do the best I can with what I have at that time.

Thanks for the reminder to keep myself in the influential bubble!

[Morgan]

Thank you so much for sharing this. This is a feeling I often have both in and out of the classroom. While it is all too easy to slip into a train of thought that focuses on all of the problems and situations that we cannot fix, it is more effective, productive and healthy to focus on what we are able to do to improve the situation. It reminds me of the quote by Charles R. Swindoll which says, "Life is 10% what happens to you, and 90% how you react to it."

[Caitlin]

I struggle with this feeling as well. I wish I had more time to work with my students. I am worried that I do not have as much of an impact of my students as I would like to. "It’s not that I must do everything; it’s that I must do something," is one of the statements you made that i definitly agree with. It is something that i also need to keep in mind as I'm teaching. The things I do for my students are important and does meet their needs.I totally understand where you are coming from. Thank you for those great words of encouragement that I stated before!

[Leighann]

As I was reading your story, I thought about how I want to approach my student teaching coming up in the spring. I am naturally a compassionate and empathetic person, and if someone is hurt or having trouble, I naturally want to help. It is my concern that, as you described, I will want to do everything I can to protect my students and ensure they have the best possible lives, and I will begin to feel discouraged because I cannot possibly do everything to help my students.

After reading your blog, I know that I will have to pay special attention to focusing on my circle of influence, where I know I can do something to make a difference, instead of my circle of concern, where no matter how hard I try, I will still feel like I am not doing enough. I know that this will be very difficult for me because I do feel like I want to help everyone, and to recognize that it is not possible is very hard for me. I will just have to remember that if I can make continue to work away at what I can change in my circle of influence, I will make a difference through small changes, as opposed to trying in vain to make changes in my circle of concern, and feeling like I have failed. I will have to change my mindset before entering the classroom if I want to be the best educator possible for my students.

Thank you for sharing your story.

[Kathleen]

After reading this comment, I have had the same feeling in my classroom that I am student teaching in. I have at least two students who I know could use a better home life, food, and more clothes. I have seen what is come from the worst and seen from the best too. It is important to keep both circles in your life but focus on things that you CAN accomplish. I struggle with knowing what I can cannot do for other people. I am a people pleaser and usually take more responsibilities on then I can handle. I liked your last comment.."I remind myself that it’s not that I must do everything; it’s that I must do something". It sounds like you are doing what you can for who you can. Keep up the effort for changing the world. California may be a mess but you are not alone.

[Nicole]

I can assure you you are doing an excellent job. The simple fact that you are concerned, consciencious, and caring proves it. Teaching can often be an under-appreciated job. The rewards aren't instantaneous. Sometimes you never get to see the "finsihed product". But I know you are doing great.

[Megan Flock]

I always feel the same way...that I'm not doing enough. But then I look around the room and see all of the students' work and remember that I am doing quite a bit. I am student teaching right now and my teacher's position was created this year because there was an elementary teacher that was overwhelmed so they created another position to take the severe-profound cognitive disabilities. The other teacher didn't do very much with these children so the students that we have have come a long way in the month that we've had them.

I am constantly looking for activities to do with the students that will help them in all of areas from alphabet to numbers to colors. It's hard to determine when the students are going to be coming into the classroom because it's different every day so my teacher and I have to be on our toes at all times and have something ready whenever a student walks in the door. What I never realized is that the students are always learning even when we aren't trying to teach them. They are learning to respond to questions, say hi when someone says hi to them, how to walk down the hall, etc. There is so much incidental learning for each student in the developmental disability learning area. We really take for granted what we are teaching the students and how we are role models for these students.

[Alyssa]

It is so nice to read that others are having the same feelings as myself. I am only student teaching, yet EVERYDAY I go home feeling that I wish I could have been doing more. I need that reminder that It is better to do something than to do nothing. We are not miracle workers that can make a change in a short period. Especially in special education you need to have the patience to understand that things are not learned right away. Many times we have to go over things again and again. Sometimes when I've had to do that I evaluate my own teaching habits and question wether I am teaching something in a way best for our students. I believe that feeling of hopelessness that you arent doing enough makes you a better teacher. It pushes you to do more each and every day! =] Keep it up!

[Janine Stanton]

Your insight to that book and the overall summary of what a teacher should do is spot on. We know we can't do it all - even though we want to; but what we can do is do something. Students are always in need of something (whether it's educational or not and whether they realize it or not) so as long as we try and do something to make a difference in their world, we are doing our jobs. Knowing if we are reaching all the material that we want to is hard and may not show until later down the road. It's when we set the little milestones in a students life that really shows we teachers are making the difference and helping them out. "You cannot make a horse drink, but you can lead them to the water" I feel is the exact same thought process as to your "It’s not that I must do everything; it’s that I must do something".

[Courtney]

I know how you feel, I always wish there was something more that I could do to help my students too. The days go by so fast and the weeks even faster. There just isn't enough time to accomplish everything you want with all of your students. I love your way of thinking though, as a teacher you can't do everything, but you must do something. I think that most teachers feel the same exact way, they wish they could do just a little more with all of their students too.

I think that if every teacher stepped back and saw what their students were learning, we as teachers would see our students are learning a lot more then what we think. Keep up the good work, and keep thinking positive because you can't do everything, but you can do something for your students!

[Nicole]

Such a great post! As a future teacher reading these blogs, I can already tell I will be feeling the same way as most of you: overwhelmed, wishing you could do 2000 more things in one day, and wishing you could just do more for your students. I'm so glad I read this post with your mantra. It is so true. As long as we do something, we're helping. We don't have to change the world in one effort. At the same time, even the small difference we make, will change the world (at least part of it, or even just one student's world). And that is enough. We can't do everything or be everywhere, but that does not make us useless. We will still make a difference, and to a student, it will be huge. Maybe even life changing. I hope I remember your mantra next year when I am teaching, and I will definitely be reading that book soon!

[Raven M]

More often than needed I feel the exact same way. I have a strong love and passion for working with children and a stronger passion for working with in the Special Education population. I always feel compel to help more, do more, inquire more and be there more for all of my students. Although we have this strong passion to teach, we are only human. I believe if I help a hand full of students succeed, I am reaching my pupils.

[Jaclyn Cummings]

Jessica,
I completely identify with you. I can see that you care about your students and want them to do well. Teaching can get overwhelming, even for the best of us and it is okay to feel that way. It is good that you have a little mantra to get your focus back on track. It helps to focus on those little moments when you do get through to your students let that carry you through!!

[Angel Read]

Thats a good attitude, and I will try to think about this when I am feeling discouraged!

[Marcia Moyer]

Jessica,
It is clear from your blog that your heart is in the right place. You are not doing your job just for a paycheck. It is also clear that you had/have high expectations about the difference you can/will make in your students' lives. All this is wonderful!
It is interesting to note that you referenced a non-education book! It shows how much we can learn from others outside the field of education!
I'm glad that you have a strategy to cope when things go south. That is always important so that you don't become too disillusioned and full of despair. I'm sure that more often than you think or just when you need it, one of your students validates what you are doing. It might just be a smile, a thank you or a big hug, but you must savor those moments, put them in your memory bank and go back to them over and over again.
Your calling is special and IMPORTANT don't let frustration ruin that fact!
God bless,
Marcia Moyer