Richard: Who's Really in Control?

Students with emotional/behavior disorders are known to be highly vocal, active, and bold. Many times they will often blame other people or things for their behaviors. With their external locus of control, they often times report to staff that the (this or that) made me do it, or (somebody) said/did (something) so that made me do what I did. I have been amazed by the extent to which they externalize the control for their actions for nearly everything that occurs within their world.

I have come to the saddening realization that no matter how strong of a bond I think my students and I have, as soon as something happens, it becomes a “But, Mr. Williams did (this or that) and so I (did this or that).” When did Mr. Williams do (this or that)? “Oh, um, um, um, like a few weeks ago I think, (pause) but I just remembered, so, yeah, that's why I did it!” This is usually said with a look of great satisfaction for reportedly getting me "in trouble."

As a result, I have become very clinical with my students to ensure that I can minimize any opportunity of externalizing their behaviors with something I have done. For example, we may joke and have moments where I get on their level and interact with them as a peer would, in order to build that relationship with them and to show them that I get 'it'.

I knew that tactic would be risky, but I feel that my students have negative interactions with most of the adults with whom they come into contact, so why not have a good one with the guy with whom they'll spend 40-something hours a week? That way, they will understand when I push them, that I do it in their best interest and not to punish them, etc.

I believe it is safe to say, that being less clinical has backfired on me. I will not, however, externalize this, and while I whole heartedly embraced this strategy, I have whole heartedly realized it didn't work. Better yet, I am happy that I at least tried it, After all, what are first years for?

As for my students, I have struggled with them to get them to shift their locus of control to themselves more and am running into road block after road block. One day they seem to get that you can't yell obscenities just because you don't understand part of a lesson. The next day, it's as though we've never discussed it before and all bad behavior is someone else's fault.

So I ask this question, what success have you had with shifting locus of control and what strategies could you suggest for me to try?

Comments

[Mariah Panic Attack Treatment]

I would recommend you to read a book I once read, which is called "How to Stubbornly Refuse to Make Yourself Miserable About Anything: Yes, Anything!" by Dr Albert Ellis. This is a powerful self-help book based on Rational-Emotive Therapy. Its fundamental premise is that, in most cases, we do not merely get upset by unfortunate adversities (in our case, some students' behaviors), but also by how we construct our views of reality through our evaluative beliefs, meanings and philosophies about ourselves, the world, and others. Because our beliefs can influence our emotions, a better management of our thoughts will result in more adaptative emotions and better conflict-resolution results. In short: this book has helped me control my emotions better when dealing with difficult classroom situations, improving the results I get as a teacher. I think it can do the same for most teachers and their students.

[Kera C.]

It is a very fine line that you never want to fully cross to get the students to understand that you “get it”. Unfortunately, as educators, it is a game for us to play to figure how far we can go to reach a student without them perceiving us a “friend”. The population that you work with is extremely challenging, and I commend you for taking on that leadership role. Those children need you to stick with them.
I think it is great that you tried that approach with them. It is a matter of trial and error and if you did not try, you would never know. I do not know the age of the students that you work with, but I have found success with individual goal plans. I pick up to three very specific goals for the student to work on, and use a point system to assess their level of attempt for each period. A score of a 3 is given when the goal is being met with complete independence. A score of 2 is given when some reminders, and a score of 1 is given if the goal was not attempted at all. I have added a 0 in the past too. You total up the max points a student can receive for an entire day, and develop a reward system based on the different point values. With the student, you clearly explain expectations and guidelines for meeting each goal and receiving the points. Together you come up with a reward system based on the total points for a day. For an example, if the max point you can earn is 300 and the student earns that, then they get a pizza party with a friend. 250-299 maybe free homework pass. 200-250 maybe free time on the computer, and so on. Set the standard for the least amount of points they must earn in a day to earn a reward at all.
It seems tedious with all the scoring, adding, and rewarding, but I have had students completely turn around. It makes for a better day for them and most importantly YOU! Positive reinforcement works wonders. I wish you luck!

[Kim Elfring]

I think this is a very interesting topic. I think that most teachers want to find that balance between being their teacher and as Richard put it 'getting it'. This is a tremendously fine line, one that I feel is very hard to find a balance with. If students feel there is any room to take advantage of the teacher's 'kindness' more often than not students will. As a special education teacher, I (and I am sure many other special education teachers) want to be seen as something other than the teacher of 'those students'. I find that most students, especially ones in special education need and want strong boundaries which is where we come in. The challenge is to create and maintain boundaries while still developing that relationship of trust. One lesson that I have learned very quickly is that sarcasm is not a good approach with most students and should be used with extreme caution! I am by nature a pretty sarcastic person and this is something I need to scale back and use less of.

[Laura Sexton]

I have enjoyed reading everyone comments. I have some ideas that I may try with some of my students. I have a student with an explosive behavior disorder and she is unable to communicate her wants and needs and her agressions occur in yelling, crying, and tipping furniture. One thing that we have tried is a "timeout". When an aggression occurs everything is taken away and shut off and for one miniute we ignore and do not make eye contact with her and after the minute is up we give her a demand. If she does what is asked for her we go right back to what we are doing but if she does not we do another minute of timed out. I think she is learning that she is not getting attention from these negative behaviors so they are occuring less often!

[Randy]

I think the most important thing to think about when working with EBD children is to remember that they are children. They need to be taught appropriate behaviors. The time to do this is not when they are upset as they tend to have a black cloud over themselves that shuts them down. The time to do it is in the morning when they are still calm. They come in and sit down and you work with them on what happens when someone says ______? What do you do? etc. Instilling these behavior patterns when they are of clear mind will be most beneficial.

[Jesse James]

I have one or two students who feel that they are able to say whatever they want, whenever they want. I have tried to explain to them that they do this all the time, but it seems to not make a difference. I then tried a reward system for good behavior, but this didn't always work because when they didn't have good behavior, they didn't get the reward, thus becoming mad and acting out. Now I am trying a few different things; for those who are able to write, I have them keep a journal that only they read. For those who aren't able to, I allow them voice their frustrations aloud to me, but they must not name names or use foul language. This seems to be working pretty well.

[Ashley]

At my school, we do a combination of the responses already given. With one of my 3rd grade female students with EBD, we have a “fix it” chart. We have a dot system with yellow, orange, and red dots. When a behavior is occurring, the teacher will verbally state and point to the phrase “Be respectful to myself and others.” After 2 reminders if she doesn’t stop her poor behavior choice, she goes to the yellow dot for 5 minutes to calm her body down. If she still is unable to calm down and take responsibility of her behavior after 5 minutes at the yellow dot, she comes to the resource room for the orange dot. After the orange dot, she draws pictures of her behavior, what the teacher feels after the behavior, and how other students feel after her behavior. If, at this point, she cannot control her body or take responsibility for her behavior, she will be sent to the principal for a phone call home. Some days she feels bad when she sees that other students and her teacher do not like her behavior. Other times, it takes a phone call home to mom and grandma for the effect to set in. When we call the parents, she knows that her excuses do not hold up.

Another strategy that we use is a simple three box chart: □□□ and a consequence. The boxes are for students (my group is all 5th grade boys) who are displaying inappropriate behavior: usually arguing, not following directions, talking out of turn, bullying, etc. The students, as a group, are given one warning and then the chart begins. When one student displays inappropriate behavior, his first initial will be placed in the first box (visual warning) and the teacher will verbally ask him to stop his behavior and continue to make positive choices. When all three boxes are filled, the consequence listed after the boxes is implemented (consequence for us have been recess and seeing the principal – depending on the severity of the displayed behavior). After the first 2 days of this system being implemented, the students learned that this chart was the real deal and acted accordingly (most days). I feel the box chart with a consequence is showing the students in 2 different ways that the behavior they are choosing to display is not acceptable.

The box system works best for my 5th grade boys. The dot system for my 3rd grade girl works some days and doesn’t other days. We are still trying to implement the best system for her.

[Karyssa]

I have tried the same strategy you have with building that rapport with the students I work with. I don't work with students with EBD, but I've found that using this technique with any group of students can lead to struggles with classroom management. This has been my biggest struggle during student teaching, but my cooperating teachers are wonderful at reaching their students while still maintaining a level of respect and understanding from the students. There definitely seems to be a very thin line between being a positive relationship for your students and losing control. I still haven't figured out exactly how my cooperating teachers do what they do so well, but some of the ways I've observed them interacting with students: being direct and straight-forward; repeating that they like the student, just not the behavior; referencing positive behaviors the student had demonstrated in the past, rather than behaviors peers might exhibit; asking the student to identify who is responsible for their behavior every time a problem arises.

[Janine Stanton]

I have worked with students that I have made this "friendship connection" with but they do not have EBD. I am able to connect with them on a different level if they are having a bad day and it helps them open up to me about what the problem is. I have seen tremendous gains in students that I have worked with from day one to 10 weeks into the year when looking at our relationships. There is a line there to be aware of that you don't strictly have a "friendship relationship" and you can still keep it professional. Once that line starts to be crossed too many times or too far, as a teacher, professional, an adult, you need to end that friendship relationship and have that teacher-student relationship again.

[Alyssa]

I think you need to just keep trucking on teaching the students how to self-assess. Students like that need to be able to process what is wrong, and be explained continuously why it is wrong. Students will need that repetition and practice with hopes that they can begin to do it on their own. In our school they have a policy that whenever a student is sent away due to poor behavior (sent to a specific room) they sit down with the supervisor in the room and complete a worksheet. The sheet walks the student through the process of explaining their misbehavior, the reason for the behavior, and how certain situations can be avoided or differently handed later on. So far all the teachers love that system.

[Caitlin]

As I read this it made me think of two female students that I work with who have EBD. Yes, they are loud and definitly always speak their mind. Every once in a while profanity does come out. It seems to happen more often when there is another outlying factor that is upsetting them. Just taking time to talk to them when they are upset seems to clam them down enough so that they can do their school work.

[Morgan]

At my school, one strategy we use for some student's is a "fix it plan". When a student is having behavior issues, they make a fix it plan with their case manager. This plan outlines what the student did wrong, how it affected others, what they need to do now to fix it, and what they can do differently next time they are in a similar situation. I have noticed that for some students this works well in showing them the part they play in their behavior. Although they will always be able to find an excuse outside of themselves for their behavior, asking them what they can do differently next time has made it clear to some of my students that they always have a choice.

[Richard]

Thank you for the advice. I tired to do student-made academic goals and they weren't able to really formulate any (many are in a 2/3 grade functioning level) however I will try to student-made behavior goals that we can work on. Jane, I would love to hear about your program.

[Kayla]

What about using a behavior chart for individual students or as a class? In my school, they use red, yellow, and green colored strips. Each student in the entire class is assigned a number and then there is a pocketed chart on the wall with numbers for each student. Then, the teacher can simply tell them to go put up the coordinated colored strip for their behavior. Green is good, yellow is a warning, and red is bad. I like this because the teacher can just say, "Jacob, put up a yellow card" and they know that they are doing something wrong and need to change that behavior and that if they are asked to put up a red card, they will not receive a sticker for their sticker book at the end of the day and depending on the actions, there may be additional consequences. This could be easily modified that when you ask them to put up a yellow or red card, that they need to tell you why they need to put up those cards. This forces them to take responsibility for their actions and vocalize why they have received a yellow or red card.

[Jane Idell]

I have developed a program for helping teachers of students with these behaviors. Would you be interested?

[mike moon]

How about a self identified list of goals and a self identified set of behaviors that keep the student from reaching those self identified goals.
How about a checklist to be used by the student and the teacher (aides?) to identify behavior by 15 min. intervals. Review the daily or weekly behavior with the student to track progress. The goal, the behavior, and the outbursts are all 'common knowledge' held by the student and the teacher.

[Citation Machine]

I believe in consistency.