Theresa: Attention Where Attention is Due

I have this student, Juan, and there are some days working with him that I earn every single penny that is on my paycheck. Juan will push me and push me every day; we constantly battle to see who will have the power for the day. That being said I know what he is doing, and why he is doing it, but sometimes I will still let him engage me in this battle.

I have taken many approaches to working with Juan. I often try the “good cop” approach where I am as nice as can be. I will compliment him just for coming into the classroom on his own two feet (he will often take a running start and slide in on his knees!). I will say, “I like the way Juan turned in his homework and sat down at his desk. I like how Juan has his pencil out and is showing me that he is ready to learn.” This will work for a while, but when I stop praising him every 20 seconds then he begins to start getting antsy.

When work becomes too hard for Juan, he will state, “I’m tired!” He knows that he can go to the class library and lay on the carpet when he needs to, but instead he will begin to wander the room. He will touch other students’ hair, pat them on the back, lie across their desks, and get into arguments with them. I will often try to continue my “good cop” approach and compliment other students for sitting and working quietly at their desks. Juan will continue his stroll around the room and argue with the teaching assistant when she tries to usher him back to his seat. It is at this point that I forget my “good cop” approach and become the “bad cop.”

I get so frustrated that my nice approach and compliments haven’t worked that I will yell at him. After I yell to get back into his seat, Juan will take his time wandering around the room and eventually sit back in his seat. He will sit down and begin to start engaging me again. He will say things like “I’m tired!” “I didn’t get the answer” “Why aren’t you helping me?”

At this time I try my third approach, which is to ignore the bad behaviors. So while I am instructing the rest of the class, or working one-on-one with a student, Juan begins his “attack.” What starts as trying to get my attention turns into “teacher, Teacher, Teacher, TEACHER, TEACHER, TEACHER!!!” I have to say that my students are sometimes better at ignoring a behavior that I am. His tablemates will remind him to get back on task, and they will try to help him. They usually don’t get far with him, but I give them credit for trying.

By now Juan has become a huge distraction to the rest of the class, and I will send him out into the hallway with either me or our teaching assistant. Juan knows that he is to walk the hallway to get himself back together, before he can come back in. The walks will usually do the trick and when Juan gets back he is ready to attempt what we are supposed to be working on.

As I am writing this, I can see that I am giving Juan exactly what he is craving…attention. He doesn’t seem to care if the attention is positive or negative. I would much rather be giving him attention for all of the positive things that he is doing, rather than the negative things. I really do try to ignore the bad behaviors and focus on the good behaviors but I do have my breaking point.

I have tried individual incentive charts, a personal marble jar, smiley faces when he is good, and nothing seems to work. I really don’t know what else to do. What strategies do you use with students that are intent on getting your attention?

Comments

[Theresa]

Thanks for your comments and suggestions. Based on your advice I have been trying a couple new approaches with Juan.
-We've been eating breakfast together in the mornings. We chat about anything not school related.
-I've also started a behavior monitoring system with Juan. I will hold up a red, yellow, or green marker based on his behavior. He seems to like knowing where his behavior stands and will even bring me all of the markers if I forget to have them with me in the classroom.
Thanks again for your support and ideas!
-Theresa

[Jerry Webster]

I'll never forget the time, years ago, a parent told me, when I was stumped by her son who was always getting into trouble for attention, "I know the experts tell me I'm wrong, but I've found giving him attention works." I started asking Jay to stay after school (he was a walker, Mom was good with it) and erase the boards or help in other ways. His classroom behavior improved and stayed stellar: he was now my buddy. You might see if there were some little, unobtrusive ways you could give him attention. Remember it's all about REPLACEMENT behavior.

[Vickie]

Therese, I don't have a good answer. I am going through almost the same problem, and I have a behavior plan, I have brought in snacks, joined the kids for gym class and participated in zumba, or games of tag. I also give short lessons with lots of breaks. My student still gets upset and she will hit and throws things when she gets upset, along with screaming at the top of her lungs. With my student she asks for help even before I give the directions or she writes her name. I go through the same cycles of good cop, bad cop etc. I just wanted to let you know you are not alone. Keep trying to find something this student likes to work as a reward. Try to get him to understand why what he is learning is important.

[glenn]

1. Stop yelling.
2. Ask him what he responds to.
3. Talk to his parents.
4. Stop yelling.
5.Spend time going over basic school expectations, for the entire class, at the same time.
6. Take care of yourself. Plenty of rest, good food, regular exercise, and never forget to laugh every day.
7. Eat lunch in the staff lounge.
8. Eat lunch once a week with your students, especially with Juan.
9. Go outside during recess when you can, play tether-ball, go down a slide with your kids, swing on a swing-- listen to their laughter!
10. Every once in a while serve milk and cookies to all your students.

I realize that many of my ideas may not have a direct effect on Juan, but I think many of them will create good "mojo", which I find to just be a good way of doing business.

You will not find a magic key, or a secret code that will answer your problems, and help Juan. Involve the entire school, from the custodian, to the school nurse, to the para educators, everyone.

Just some ideas...

[K R]

I have one like that as well. When we hired an adult to work one on one with this student, it helped some...now the attention is there. We are still working on some plans, but one idea is to allow this student to invite a friend to a special activity. Then he has attention to work towards and hopefully a new friendship can develop. I have another student who starts to misbehave when the work is too hard. I've been trying to teach him to say, "This is hard" instead of acting up or being silly. Then we know to reteach or provide more support a bit longer.

[Andrea]

It may also help to outline for Juan what, precisely, he is expected to do and what the consequences will be for not doing it. If he's doing independent work, how does he know when he's "done"? (I kept my kids' work in folders, and when everything I needed them to do was moved from left to right, they were "done"). What should he do when he's done? What do you expect from him during group lessons? I found that keeping my instructions simple and explicit cut down on a lot of behavior problems in my room.

[debbie]

Try spending 5 or 10 minutes of the day with him alone...at recess...break...whatever, and give him the attention that he needs. Say Good morning to him as he enters the classroom and have a nice day when he leaves....explain to him that you are doing this because you care about him and want to give him a share of your time just like you want to give each of the children a share of your time. But then, also explain to him that his disruptive behavior is taking away from your time with others. Ignore behaviors for attention unless they are harmful to others. Switching back and forth between praise and ignore and maybe even negative feedback is increasing his attempts because he will use all of them to get what he wants/needs and has learned how to manipulate you to do so....explain to him what you are doing. then stick to one plan...or else you will increase the odds that he will continue to poke at you to see which one will work.

[Richard]

He sounds like one of my Angels! Have you done an FBA on him yet? From what I read he seems to want attention, needs to touch, and is escaping challenging work. If that is the case, you may need to combine 3 different strategies into a Juan Special. One of my super attention seekers did better when I moved him beside the assistant's desk and in the front of the room that way he is at least near someone almost all the time. If he needs to move, try giving him a stress ball to squeeze, or the exercise balls to sit on to bounce lightly on while working. Then there is escape, something is causing his serious issues, you may trie the red/yellow/greed cue cards on his desk so that he can signal when he needs help instead of yelling teacher at you. All in all, I would do a FBA and develop a BIP because it seems that his behaviors are going to, if they are not already, negatively impacting his learning and that of his classmates.