Theresa: Learning to Let Things Go

This school year has felt so much different from the past two years.  There seems to be some underlying stress that is always present.  Looking around every day, I see teachers who are exhausted.  Everyone is holding onto their coffee cups for dear life in the morning, and they often get more coffee at lunch as well.  As pressure comes from all directions, administration, teachers, and students are all starting to feel it.

It seems like every year the students come in lower than the year before, and the bar for their performance is set higher and higher. All of the students in my school are expected to be “meeting” or “exceeding” on the standardized assessments. I am proud to say that we have done really well the past couple of years, and our school is no longer on probation. So now, we are working even harder to ensure that our students continue to do a great job. I feel like it is an endless job to accommodate and modify the curriculum in such a way that my students can show their growth and do well on the standardized assessments.

I tend to be an overachiever: if an opportunity comes across that I know will be beneficial for my students or great for me as an educator I will usually take advantage of it. This means that I am taking on extra responsibilities outside of my already packed duties as a special education teacher. I have written in a previous blog that I have been struggling with trying to find a balance between all of my responsibilities at work.  Now I’ve been writing grants, submitting proposals to give presentations, and keeping up with my blogging duties. But lately I've been asking myself when is enough going to be enough?

I arrive at work around 7:15 in the morning. It used to be that I was one of the few teachers there, but now there are 10 or so teachers who arrive at that time, and many more keep coming in early. After school there are always teachers staying trying to get ahead and be prepared for the students the next day.  Lately I've noticed that this is starting to affect the health of the teachers. These past two weeks everyone has been walking around like zombies.  People are sick, and many teachers are so under the weather they are not able to come into work.  Last week I ended up in the emergency room for eight hours! It was my body’s way of saying I needed to slow down. This week I struggled with trying to teach without a voice, and by the end of the day I could barely whisper.

Have I slowed down? Well...sort of.  I'm still getting to work early and staying late, but I'm working hard on not letting things bother me.  If something happens at a meeting, now instead of majorly stressing out, I shrug it off and finish it as best I can.  I am learning to let things go that are beyond my control, and to just make efficient decisions that will benefit my students. My New Year’s Resolution is to find the time to relax because I know that I can’t keep up this pace for much longer.

Comments

[KatieOsgood_]

Hi Theresa, thanks for the post. You are experiencing more than just a stressful job. The teaching profession is under attack and what you describe are the very real, physical effects of those attacks. As teacher job protections weakens and budgets shrink, the stress and sickness you describe will only get worse. Our class sizes and case loads will increase, our work days become longer (thank you Rahm...), and our resources will dwindle. Also, as poverty and income inequality grow, our students will have more barriers to learning especially among our children with special needs. Who will be willing or even able to work these demanding jobs as our work environments deteriorate? And ultimately, it is the children who lose out.

I believe it is time for teachers everywhere to start fighting back! We need to be the voice for our profession and more importantly for our kids who need strong teachers. Instead of complaining or blaming themselves or even focusing on self-help/relaxation techniques, we need to change the system to lessen the stress and pressure. We need to fight AGAINST NCLB and RttT, bad education policy being pushed by politicians and think tanks, and privatization efforts, charter schools, and school closures/turnarounds. Simultaneously, we must fight FOR equitable funding, teacher autonomy and respect, and schools that meet kids where they are and support the people who do the work of education.

Teachers, don't just be stressed and frazzled behind closed doors, get out there fight for the kind of workplace which fosters collaboration, respect, and long-term teaching careers. Kids deserve healthy, happy teachers.

[Mary Snider]

Amen! I have been teaching in special education for 34 years. I love the kids! I hate the paperwork and the stress. Each year it feels like more and more gets placed on our shoulders. The expectation of these high achievements on our students is a huge weight with little assistance to carry it. I have put in more hours this year than any in my entire teaching career. I feel for the students who have to deal with this stress as well. I am seeing illnesses increasing (student and faculty), morale is low, more talk of early retirements from those who really don't want to quit, and a general feeling of what difference will it make. I keep trying to draw the line, but it finds its way back to me. Good Luck finding a way to let it go.

[Karen]

This has been the most stressful year in my teaching career. Reading your story was like reading my own thoughts. I agree with Andrea and I need to remember to follow the same advice. Leave work at work. I was doing really well for years until this year when the paperwork started piling up and I started taking it home. No more. No matter how much paperwork I get done there is always more to do. Taking time for myself is my resolution also - after I became sick and lost my voice! I am making the step to schedule in my new exercise routine as I would schedule a meeting. I would never think of missing a meeting, so I resolve to never miss a meeting with myself! When I am health my teaching will reflect it.
Good luck Theresa!

[Lynne Williams]

Consider prioritizing. Easy to say, hard to do. Later in my career I finally decided I had to let some things go, things that I thought were important. All I could do was stop doing the things I thought were the least important. Imagine my surprise when I saw that nobody was really paying attention to the fact I hadn't done those 'least important things?' Turns out they were only important to me. After a year or so of doing this, I was able to cut back to nine hours days, and mostly not working at home or on weekends. Would never have thought it possible before I made myself, and I do mean made myself, stop doing the 'least important' things. It can be done and it's the only way to do your job without hurting yourself and/or your family in the long run. Take care!

[Ann]

I read the comments fromm special education teachers concerning the exhaustion and stress related to our jobs. I also work 10 hour school days and again after I get home. I agree 100%; however, I am concerned with the stress we are forced to put on our children. I want our children to achieve, but at what expense? If we are feeling the stress, think what they are feeling. We are forced to place such an emphasis on high academic achievement, but there is more to our students than academic achievement. Many are facing stress at home with financial situations and family dynamics. Sometimes I feel that I am "pushing" academics so much, I forget that our students are children (I teach middle school) with other needs.

[KFC]

Theresa,

Thank you for posting your personal journey. I believe that many special education teachers have personality traits that lead us to complete exhaustion. General education teachers have major strees, also, but special education almost ALWAYS has openings due to all of the legalities, paperwork and case carrier responsibilities.

When our personal health suffers then we end up not being able to help anyone, especially ourselves. I too am seeking out ways to not carry it around with me ALL THE TIME, even while sleeping.

Please, keep us posted regarding "taking care of yourself" as there are many of us who are struggling right along side of you. Maybe taking it one week or day at a time might make it more more do able. We tell our students to break down BIG tasks into smaller parts and we need to take our own advice.

KFC

[Andrea]

I fully understand what you are talking about. I am a lead teacher for special education in my district. On top of teaching, I have administrative duties that require me to handle problems with other teachers, attend SST meetings, complete lots of paperwork, and train new teachers. To let things go, I've learned to meditate in the middle of the day when I transition from teaching to being an administrator. I also take yoga classes to relieve stress. Above all, I've learned to leave on time with just my purse (this took a year to learn to do). I leave everything relating to work at work. All of the issues will be there the next day and there will be new issues to face. I deal with issues as it comes and I keep it moving.

Good luck with letting go! It is hard to do especially when you are a dedicated teacher.