Jerry: Managing Adults During Meltdowns

In a classroom full of boys there are bound to be times when things are somewhat hectic, chaotic and downright ugly. In my classroom, we label such times as Meltdown Level Events or MLEs. We take these events very seriously and even though these events sometimes happen rather unexpectedly, we are always on high alert and well prepared.

When I was first hired for my position last February, I took some time to do some observations. I really had no idea what the staff was talking about when they informed me that my student frequently engaged in rage-filled shouting episodes that would make Sam Kinison seem rather weak by comparison. Then I experienced a MLE. It is truly a sight to behold. I have heard this child scream himself hoarse. It is brutal for the child to experience; it is painful to witness and even worse when one of his meltdowns is aimed at you.

We needed a plan to help the young man and we needed a plan to help the adults deal properly with these events. What follows, then, are our basic rules for dealing with students who are having a MLE.* 

1. KiSS: Keep Students Safe.
By this I mean all students: the one in episode and others in the classroom. One of our practices is to protect privacy (and prevent an audience) by evacuating the classroom of all students to a safe place—we are close to the library which usually works very well. You should have a safe room to which you can quickly and easily move your students.

2. DNA: Do Not Argue.
Students will frequently make every attempt to engage an adult or to draw others into an argument. We simply do not take the bait. I heard someone say at a conference that there is no such thing as planned ignoring. I respectfully disagree. We do not allow the student to provoke us into a reinforcing response or into an engagement with his or her meltdown. 

3. GAR: Give choices. Acknowledge compliance. Reinforce immediately.
My goal with students is compliance. Since these meltdowns always serve some function (e.g., escape, avoidance), my goal is to get them directed back to what I want them to do. I am a strong believer in giving choices as an intervention. When students comply, acknowledge it. Acknowledge any movement in the direction you wish them to be moving no matter how small. Finally, reinforcement works best when it is immediate. 

4. EO: Eschew Obfuscation.
Use clear, simple and few words. Students who are melting down are in a state of intense frustration. They do not need lectures, stories or dissertations. In fact, they need very few words. Avoid long or complicated explanations. Simple words are best. 

5. CDS: Clearly Defined Space.
Your students need to know you are there for them, but it is important that they have plenty of space. Keep them safe, yes, but there is no reason to smother them. We stay seated as much as possible. This keeps the students calm and prevents them from feeling blocked or threatened. 

6. CTV: Conversational Tone and Volume.
The way we speak to students is a lot more important than the way they speak to us. We have heard shouting and vulgarity that would rival George Carlin. Students should never hear that from us. It is important for adults to stay in control of their own emotions and voices. Speak softly, gently, lovingly. But never sarcastically or condescendingly or loudly. 

7. CC: Consistently Consistent. 
Do not change the rules. Be consistent every time, with every student.

8. FWUS: Finish What yoU Start.
Students must learn to respect every adult who gives instructions. So, if someone gives one of my students an instruction, the student is expected to comply. On the other hand, if someone gives my student an instruction, I am not going to intervene if the student refuses to comply. The person who gave the instruction is expected to finish it. Intervening in someone else’s efforts only serves to undermine the effort. Sometimes I have made other teachers angry by standing by and not intervening, but the student must respect every adult. If I bail him or her out, we have lost. And so, ultimately, has the student.  

9. FA: Fewer Adults=less stress.
Seriously, I start with two adults. That’s it. The fewer adults in the room the better. More adults add unneeded stress to the child and prevent a quicker resolution and de-escalation. 

10. BA: Be the Adult. 
Remember: You are the adult. Act like it. Do not succumb to the temptation to play ‘mirror’ with the child.

11. LEGO: Let go of your ego.
This is a tough thing to do because we all want to be the one who helps the student calm down and resolve. I have a particularly tough student and during a recent MLE, we did a staff swap (due to the length of the MLE) and I did not want to leave the room. He’s my student! I should be there! And sure enough, when I went back later, he was at a table, calm and de-escalated with a colleague. Snap!

I am, however, proud of the staff because WE worked together and kept a student safe, got him through the episode and eventually got him back to my classroom where he spent the rest of the day doing his schoolwork. It was not about me. It was about him.

12. ARC: Always Remain Calm.
Yep. Children feed off our stress, our actions and our busy-ness. Again, I encourage our staff to sit at strategic places, but sit. We do not pace. We do not talk to one another. We do not freak out. We stay in control of ourselves. Our calmness is a sign to students that we are in control. They have nothing negative to feed off of from us. These are effectively emotionless periods for the adults involved.

13. Q-TIP: Quit Taking It Personally.
I heard this during crisis intervention program training. It’s valuable because students will say all sorts of things during a MLE that they cannot control. Do not take it personally, do not carry a grudge and do not react to it.

My job is to advocate for my students. To me this means that it is my goal to keep them in school each day, to prevent suspensions and to prevent disciplinary action at the administrative level. My job is to teach my students how to manage and self-monitor their behavior. Thus the end goal of everything I do is compliance. If I give my student a direction, the expectation is that he will comply immediately. If he goes into episode, we work through it together. But at the end of the episode, the original direction still exists and the student must comply. Furthermore, if the student makes a mess during the episode (shreds paper, throws stuff around, etc.) it is his responsibility at the end to clean it up. I have left messes overnight to make the point abundantly clear to the student.

You may need to go over some of this with your general education teachers since they often do not know what to do with students who go into MLE. These tips work well with all students in the school population.

What practices do you live by? How would adjust this list?

P.S. If there is an MLE, it is also important to provide a recovery period for the student, for other students and for yourself. Direct the student to a designated safe place or quiet space to allow for cool down and recovery. Later on, after the MLE and recovery period, you can debrief the student and look for the teachable moment.

* Information to create this has been compiled and adapted from Conduct and Behavior Problems: Intervention and Resources for School Aged Youth (UCLA Center for Mental Health in Schools 2008) (Available for reproduction). Also, the Pre-Referral Intervention Manual, 3^rd Ed., 2006). And Research Based Educational Practices for Students with Autism Spectrum Disorder, (Ryan, Hughes, Katsiyannis, McDaniel, and Sprinkle) in Teaching Exceptional Children, 2011. And, finally, from http://iris.peabody.vanderbilt.edu/resources.html (see in particular the modules under the Behavior and Classroom Management tab).

Comments

[Tiffany]

This is a good list of strategies to share with other school personnel that may work with the student having MLEs, such as paraprofessionals or general education teachers. I have heard the Q-TIP strategy before, and it is really helpful. It's sometimes difficult to let go of the grudge, but often our students need a fresh start after the meltdown. Thanks for the post!

[Melissa]

Jerry thank you for your post. I found the information to be useful and I really liked the end where you put that the students were responsible for their actions. I firmly believe this and it helps students prepare for life outside of school. When it came to your list it was interesting to read and to see concepts listed out. I like how you numbered them and it was a reminder for me. Do you have this listed somewhere in your classroom? Do you and/or the adults working in your classroom review this list throughout the year?

[Jerry]

Yeah, today was one of those days. :-)

[Andrew]

HI Jerry,
I found this post to be a very helpful bit of advice. As someone who is about to begin my special education teaching journey, I cant help but feel a little intimidated by all of the circumstances that will arise. I like your framework for working students through their meltdowns. I especially think the last tip is important, as often times we can take things personal if we cant keep ourselves calm. Thanks for the post.

[Hailey K]

Thanks for this great post Jerry! I am in a school where at one point I go up and co-teach in a resource room during study hall with 10 boys all in middle school... most days this hour is exhausting! We had to ban "Epic Uno", if you don't know what that is it's Uno but extremely loud, cards get thrown, and "stupid" is said constantly... hence the banning of the game. Sometimes I feel like I am constantly battling the boys from "hold me backs" and fake fights... they say their joking, but we have to keep our students safe. The challenging behaviors that these students present is stressful, but your post helps me remember we are the adult, we are there to guide them (in the right direction). I also really like how you say quit taking it personally... I am glad I never did! I am only 5 foot 2... and one of my students is 6 foot 2. There are a lot of jokes about my height, but I always tell my students that when it rains, they will get wet before I do! Humor helps not take it personally, thanks for the great share.

[Nick]

Jerry this is a great informational post. I'm starting my student teaching next semester, and currently work at a center with persons with disabilities who are 18 years and older. Your strategies are eye opening and I plan to use them when such situations come about in both my current job and my future as a Special Education teacher. Thanks for sharing!

[Jerry]

One item I wish had spent a little bit more time on is LEGO--letting go of the ego, but not necessarily about the ego part--but about the letting go part.

During a particularly long MLE it is important that the staff be prepared to swap. I had to *learn* this lesson and I confess it is not easy to learn. I think sometimes we are prone to stay in the room because we feel that we are needed--and truly we are. What we do not realize in the midst of these events is that we too are getting worked up, we are getting tired, we are getting frustrated and frankly our very presence may be hindering the student from de-escalating.

Swapping is important because we are often myopic about these things. Having a supportive staff who will come in, relieve tension, bring perspective, and challenge the student in a fresh way is ultimately beneficial for the student and staff.

jerry

[Kelsey]

Wow! I really liked this post because it absolutely relates to the classroom I am working in right now. I like that you have a plan and that other staff are aware of it as well. It is so important to have consistency throughout the day with our students and even though the situations can get brutal it is crucial to wait them out and remain that safe person for that student. Last week my teacher and I were having a conversation about a student ot ours who often has an MLE and we discussed not taking it personally but sort of as a compliment that the student finds us safe people to get upset around and show emotions as this particular student normally does not and we would like to remain those safe people. great advice!

[Emma]

Jerry,
Thank you for sharing some useful acronyms with us!! These are all things that every teacher should know. I think that you have a wonderful system in place and have some wonderful staff working with you to help your students succeed! How did you get so lucky? I've been in similar situations this semester of my student teaching, except I'm almost positive that the people involved did almost the opposite of what you have told us. Anyone who is frustrated to the point of a MLE doesn't want someone else coming in and yelling at them or freaking out themselves. They want calm individuals who will help them calm down. I think that it is wonderful that you have the students clean up after themselves. With any student, I feel that when they make a mess, they need to be responsible for picking it up. At my student teaching experience now, I've been working with staff that feel as if they need to help the students pick up a mess that they were able to make on their own. I'm going to print off a copy of your list for when I have my own class! Thanks!

[Jerry]

I really appreciate all of the supportive comments. Thanks a lot for taking time to read.

[Alison]

It is awesome that you have such a great plan and let everyone know about it. Everything you said is so true. As a future teacher it is very important for me to remember all of these rules. They will truly come in handy. MLEs do happen and the most important thing is to work together and keep everyone safe so by knowing how to handle the situation is very important. Thanks for the great advice.

[Jo]

Jerry ~ These are wonderful rules to remember and abide by when in a situation with a student who is experiencing a meltdown. Some of them may seem logical, but I believe when we are in a meltdown situation, they may not come to mind immediately. It is important to have a plan of action before it happen! Thank you for the great informaton.

[Carol]

Thank you for this excellent post - it was thorough and concise. I will print this out, and keep it as a reminder in my lesson planning book. I'm also going to forward it to some of my teacher friends.

[Brittany]

Thank you for posting this! You have pointed out some VERY important things that need to be done with students. Right now in my student teaching placement we are struggling with 60% of the students in our classroom with behaviors. They are feeding into and off each other. I think there are a couple students that are purposely trying to set off the other students. We have just started using a curriculum called "The Zones of Regulation" and after a couple of lesson the students are able to identify which zone they are in. This is helping them express and put how they are feeling into words. We put a couple of the students on a points system based on which of the four zones they are in and they are able to earn rewards. This is starting to help one student keep it together at school and keep them ready to learn. Hopefully this program continues to keep working with this group of students because there are times when things feel out of control when they are all agitated at the same time with each other.

[BreAnna]

This post could not have come at a better time!! I have 4 weeks left of student teaching, and I have many students (particularly boys) who have demonstrate challenging behaviors. As a student teacher, I have to sit back and allow the classroom teacher to build that level of respect themselves, as you have mentioned. This was beneficial for me to read! Some days I leave school feeling like I failed the students because I was unable to handle their meltdowns in the most effective way. Thank you for sharing this information, I will print it out for myself as well as the teachers that I am currently working with! :)

[Brooke]

Jerry, I think this is a very useful post and I plan on holding on to it for my future classroom. I am still in school but I look forward to possibly implementing some of it such as the "Q-TIP." It seems like you have a good handle on what works best for your students and you do what's best for them. It's very evident that you care for all of your students. Thanks for the post!

[Kristin]

Jerry this is a great post! I am going to print this off and save it. I am still in school and I will start student teaching next semester. I am not sure what the students are going to be like- so you never know I might need to look back at this post. Keep up the great work! You are doing what is best for your students.