Where in the world have I been these last few weeks? I’ve been trying to survive in a bureaucratic world that doesn’t make sense for idealistic thinkers like me.
Although I have not yet received a letter or pink slip from my school, I anticipate that I will not be offered a renewed contract or tenure at the end of the year. This year has been an incredible mountain of obstacles as I’ve attempted to advocate for my special education students by taking a collaborative, engaged role during lesson planning meetings. The word “passion” has often been used to describe my actions, goals, and value system, but the same word is sometimes equated with “aggression” whenever I attempt to interject an opinion. I have been entrusted to help develop lifelong skills and successes for my students with learning challenges, and yet I feel I am often not given an equal opportunity to share my ideas for effective teaching strategies.
Tenured teachers with no incentive to change have been boulders and windstorms along my path, and I honestly have very few resources in which to seek shelter, other than my faith, my family, my friends, and even this blog, which has served as a great outlet.
Reading through past journal entries often helps me remember past journeys on which I once felt that I would be lost forever, but eventually found a way to make it through. In one entry, I read the words of a woman I interviewed with who worked for UNICEF in Niger at the time. I inquired about any advice she had to pass along, and I remember being stunned by her yogic wisdom. She said that our expectations in life almost never meet the reality of our experiences; thus, the only way to be successful, to feel fulfilled, is to constantly meditate on our intentions.
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